Forgive and Forget

Is it just me or do you ever hold a grudge against someone for longer than is probably necessary? Someone apologizes, and you say that you forgive them, but deep down you still can't quite let it go?

I was a bit humbled this morning as I picked up the little boy I babysit from school. We got into an argument because he started running in the parking lot as a car was pulling out, so I quickly grabbed his arm (lightly) to hold him back. As a true man's man, this 4-year-old boy got angry with me, saying that "he could take care of himself" and "cars can't hurt him."

I know what you're thinking--*You got into an actual argument with a 4-year-old???* Well...yes I did. You try keeping your cool while a little kid uses their frustrating childish argument skills against you! I tried to reason with him, but to no avail. I ended up just getting upset and feeling mad at him. 

As ridiculous as it might sound, I remained mad for the next half of the car ride back to his house. But then, as most little kids do, he started talking to me as though nothing had ever happened. The thing that I had held on to as my reason for being mad was not even a thought in this little boy's mind anymore. He had completely forgotten about it and moved on.

So why can't I, why can't we, do the same thing? Why do we feel the need to hold on to things that make us mad? Is it for the pure fact of holding a grudge against someone? Is it a pride thing? Whatever the reason, I think we can all learn a lesson from this little boy. 

Holding a grudge is really not worth is in the end, and you truly only spite yourself in doing so. Forgive, forget, and move on. Once we learn to do that, we will all be better off.

Are you holding a grudge against someone that you can't quite seem to let go of? As difficult as it might be, try your very hardest to not only forgive that person, but also to put the memory out of your mind. In this case, it's okay to be forgetful.

It's Much More Than That - Forgiveness

Is it just me or can it be really hard to forgive people sometimes? Someone hurt you or wronged you in some way, and you just can't seem to get past it?

Today's word is one that I think is extremely important: forgiveness. According to the dictionary, to 'forgive' means to "stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake; to cancel (a debt)."

Now, I do not think that this is a bad definition at all, but I do think that there is so much more to "forgiveness" than what is stated in those two short lines. To forgive someone does mean to stop feeling angry or resentful towards them, but in doing that, you also let go of a weight that you've been carrying around with you. Forgiving someone else not only sets them free; forgiving someone else also sets you free. 

I certainly know that forgiveness is not always an easy thing. We are prideful beings, and I think that many times, our own pride gets in the way of us forgiving another person for their wrongs. We don't want to forgive them because we are angry that they hurt us. We don't want to forgive them because they wronged us and deserve to feel bad about it. We don't want to forgive them because we think that we have a right to be angry and resentful. We don't want to forgive them because, because, because...

But that's the thing about forgiveness: you will always find a reason why you don't want to or "shouldn't" forgive someone. None of us will ever deserve forgiveness. And that's why it is such a powerful thing when granted.

When you forgive someone, you are not only letting them know that you aren't angry with them anymore. You are also showing them that, even though they wronged you and they don't deserve to be forgiven, they get a second chance. And in reality, we all need second (or third, or fourth or fifth) chances. Life is a learning process, and I think that when you extend forgiveness to another, you are letting them know that you know they can do better.

And when I say forgive, I mean forgive completely. I do not mean forgiving the person in the moment, but then secretly still holding their wrong against them in case you need to bring it up again in the future. Forgiveness to me means starting over with a clean slate. When you say that you forgive someone, and when you truly do forgive them in your heart, whatever wrong they did to you should not even be in your mind at all anymore. 

Withholding forgiveness from someone can really take a toll on you. How much more happy and free you would feel if only you would decide to let it go and forgive the person that wronged you. 

My challenge for you? Practice forgiving those who have hurt you. Keep practicing that forgiveness and never stop. What does "forgiveness" mean to you?