Quote of the Week - Thorns

Is it just me or do we complain a lot? Things don't go our way, or don't work out the way we wanted them to, and so we get angry about it?

I like today's quote so much because it really teaches about the value of perspective. You can choose how you wish to view things, and that choice can dictate your entire mindset on a situation.

"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."

                                                         -Abraham Lincoln

Talk about perspective! We are talking about the same bush here. Do we choose to resent the thorns, or rejoice in the beauty of the roses? 

Situations in life can be viewed in a similar way. When something goes wrong, we can choose to complain about everything that is not the way it should be. OR we can choose to seek out the good amidst the bad. 

You can choose to complain about your job, or you can rejoice in the fact that you have one. You can choose to sulk because someone you love is sick, or you can rejoice because you are healthy enough to take care of them, and God can heal. The situations are endless, but the idea is the same.

Life is all about perspective. Will you choose to see the thorns or the roses?

It's Much More Than That - Resolutions

Is it just me or have you ever made a list of New Year's Resolutions that you then gave up on within just a few weeks? With a new year just beginning, I thought it would be the perfect time to discuss resolutions.

According to the dictionary, a 'resolution' is "a firm decision to do or not to do something." 

For once, I actually agree with this definition in regards to the meaning of this word. When you resolve to do something, you make up your mind to do it, no excuses. When you resolve to achieve a certain goal, or to make a certain change in your life, you are making a "firm decision" to do it, no matter what. 

Many times, people take resolutions as an opportunity to change everything they want to change about themselves, their lives, etc. However, just making a resolution is not enough. You cannot simply make a list of everything that you want to change and expect that it will change. Making resolutions are great; Keeping resolutions take work and dedication.

A resolution is more than making "a firm decision to do or not to do something." Making this decision is a good starting point, but making the necessary changes and working towards achieving your goals is the next step.

If you make a resolution to "get more fit," but then you never work out or go to the gym, that resolution is only words written down on paper. Making such a resolution is not a bad thing, but then it is up to you to make time for going to the gym, working out, etc.

Moral of the post here? Creating a resolution and deciding to do (or not do) something is wonderful. Actually taking steps toward your resolution goal is even more wonderful. Make your decision and see it through, no matter how difficult it may be at times. You can do it!

What are some of your resolutions for the new year?

It's the Little Things

Is it just me or do you ever seem to go through your days sometimes without anything really remarkable happening? Nothing truly huge has changed in your life, nothing worth writing home about has happened during your week, and you just live day to day in a kind of ordinary manner.

While it can sometimes be a good thing that nothing crazy is going on in your life, it is so important to remember that your life is anything but ordinary. You don’t need something “remarkable” to happen every day in order to be happy and grateful with the life that you have.

Sometime last year, I downloaded this app on my phone called Gratitude 365. The app is nothing special, really—it's basically a calendar where, each day, you can write down some things that you were grateful for that day. You can add a picture to make it look pretty, but that is basically the gist of the app. Now, I went through a period of a couple months where I didn’t touch the app at all. But recently, I began trying to use it every day, and I have been getting so much out of it.

The purpose of the app is not to brag about all of the amazing things that happen to you each day. For me, it has become a way to realize and appreciate all the little things that make my days special. I will give you a few examples of the types of things that I write down in my app:

• I got a cup of coffee from Dunkin Donuts today and it was delicious.
• I put in a request to have some of the lights fixed in my classroom, and this morning when I walked into the room, it was noticeably brighter in there!
• I started reading a new book that I absolutely love.

 As you can see, none of those things are out of the ordinary. But without those little reminders that my life is good each day, I have a feeling that I could be quite miserable. As a former teacher of mine used to say constantly, "It's the little things."

So, I challenge you to at least think about three good things in your day, every day, and see how much of a difference it makes in your life. I think you might find that you are quicker to smile, quicker to laugh, and quicker to appreciate the little things.

What are some of the "little things" in your life that you are grateful for each day?

It's Much More Than That - Happiness

Is it just me or do you ever look up a word in the dictionary only to find that the definition is not exactly how you would describe the word? Oftentimes, the "official" definition of a word differs from how we interpret the word's meaning and its relevance to our lives. It is for this reason that I decided to start another "series" on my blog titled "It's Much More Than That - *insert choice word here*".  Every Wednesday, I will choose one word and define it as I have come to understand it.

Today's word is happiness. According to the dictionary, 'happiness' is defined as "the state of being happy." This led me to look up the definition of 'happy' which reads, "feeling pleasure and enjoyment because of your life, situation, etc."

How do you take a word like 'happiness' and restrict it to just one universal definition?? To me, happiness is so much more than just a word; it is a feeling, an experience like no other. Many times, people think of happiness as something to be achieved. "If I only had this new car, I would be happy..."; "When I get this promotion at work, then I will be happy..."; and the list goes on. But I don't think that happiness is something that we need to set as a goal for ourselves, or something that we need to continually strive for. 

I want so much more out of life than to simply experience happiness every now and then. I want to be happy. Happiness doesn't have to be (and shouldn't be) an "if...then..." type of thing. Happiness should just be. I shouldn't have to work for it, and I certainly shouldn't have to depend on other things or people to keep my happiness going. 

To me, happiness is singing in the car at the top of my lungs to my favorite song. Happiness is getting lost in a good book while sipping on a nice hot cup of coffee. Happiness is hanging around the house with my family knowing that I am loved. Happiness is thinking about my life and reflecting on all of the blessings that I have.

What does happiness mean to you?

You Will Never HAVE the Time!

Is it just me or do you ever feel like you don't have time for anything? Life keeps getting busier and busier and then one day you realize that you simply have no time to do anything that you want to do?

I'm going to let you in on a little secret...You will never HAVE the time. 

Life is not going to magically stop being busy. Responsibilities will always be there. There will never be enough hours in the day, and you will always have an unfinished 'To Do' list waiting to be tended to. But does that mean that you should just give up all of the things that you love because you "have no time" for them? Absolutely not.

As hard as it may sometimes be, there comes a point when you have to MAKE time for the people, things, activities, that you love. If that means waking up extra early to squeeze in your favorite gym class, then so be it. If it means setting a reminder on your phone to text a loved one every single day, then make it happen. If it means occasionally rearranging your schedule, or scheduling things back to back with little to no breathing room, or even sacrificing something you really love for something or someone else that you also really love, then do that. 

I can guarantee you that it will be hard, but I can also guarantee you that it will be worth it. So stop waiting until you "have the time," because odds are you never will. If something means a lot to you, you will make the time for it. And you will be so glad that you did.  

What are some things you love that are worth making time for?

Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

Is it just me or do you ever feel hesitant to tell someone how you really feel about something? Maybe something has been bothering you for a while, but you haven't worked up the nerve to actually say something to the person for fear of....what, exactly?

I would consider myself a fairly non-confrontational person. I don't like to make conflict if there doesn't have to be conflict, and I don't like to say things that I know will make another person angry. But recently, I have learned that there comes a time when you just have to say what you feel. 

Sometimes, it is important for the other person to hear that you ARE upset, and that you MEAN what you are trying to get across. Sometimes, the other person doesn't even know that there is anything wrong in the first place, and the only way for them to know that you are upset is for you to tell them! 

Now, this does not mean that you have a right to lash out at someone and tell them your feelings in anger. Nor does it mean that you should always state your feelings in the heat of the moment. That often leads to some harsh words, maybe a few tears, and certainly a lot of regret. But if you give yourself some time to step back from the situation, gather your thoughts, and respond a bit later when you have a clear head, the outcome is almost sure to be better. 

In this time of "cooling off," you should think about exactly why you are upset. Do not use this opportunity to make a list of all the things that the other person has done wrong in the past. Really think about what is bothering you in this present moment. Also, try coming up with a way that you can tell the other person what is wrong without sounding mean and hurtful. (P.S. this is usually easier if you have someone you can run your "speech" by first). 

So the next time you find yourself in a situation that needs fixing, try taking a few moments to collect your thoughts before you speak. You have a right to say what you mean, but just make sure that you really mean what you say. If you don't, you might regret it later on.

Do you have any other advice for how to deal with speaking your mind? I would love to hear it!

Quote of the Week - Be Kind Always

Is it just me or do you ever come across people that seem just plain rude for no reason? It is almost a natural reaction to act rude right back to them, because after all, they did it first, right? WRONG.

This week's quote is a good one to keep in your pocket at all times, because I have a feeling you'll need to think back on it often:

"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. 
Be kind. Always."

I have learned that many times, people who seem rude, or who give me an attitude right off the bat really have something else going on that has nothing to do with me. Maybe they are going through a rocky divorce, or they have to spend all night awake in the hospital with their sick child. Maybe they just got in a fight with their best friend, or a loved one recently passed away. Maybe they are simply having a really awful day. Does this give them a right to take it out on me, on us? No, but it certainly helps put things into perspective. 

Life is not always easy, and it's certainly not always fun. But what a better place this world would be if we could all be kind to one another always. It is all too easy to get wrapped up in our own little world, thinking only of ourselves. But if we take just a second to think of what another person might possibly be going through before shooting back a sassy answer, we could really learn something valuable.

So the next time you have the urge to lash out at someone or give them attitude right back, try and remember that, odds are, they are going through something in their life that is really difficult. Cut them some slack. And share this quote with others, because you never know when you might need someone to be kind to you when you are not able to be so kind yourself.

Have a good quote? Feel free to share it in the comments!

5 Things I'd Tell My Younger Self

Is it just me or do you ever think back and wish that you could give your younger self some advice? Seeing as my 22nd birthday is coming up, (tomorrow--woo hoo!!!) I have been thinking a lot about all that I am continually learning each day as I get older. If it were possible to go back in time, there are many things that I would love to tell my younger self.

1. Enjoy being young while you can. I know that everyone says this, but as you get older you realize how true it is! Life goes so fast, and we spend much of our younger years wishing we were older. If I could go back, I would enjoy every second of my youth, because growing up is not always fun, and you are only young once! 

2. You can do much more than you think you can. This is much easier said than done, but knowing what I know now, I see how I ended up getting through some rough times that I never would have thought I could handle. And at first, I couldn't handle them. But over the months and years, I learned that I was stronger than I thought I was, and I want you to know that you are too.

3. It truly does not matter what other people think of you. Oh, how I wish I knew this one! When I was younger, I spent way too much time worrying about what other people thought of me, or what they would think of me if I did/said the "wrong" (AKA un-cool) thing. As I get older, I am learning more and more how it is so much more important to be happy with yourself than to waste your time depending on others for your happiness. Be confident in who you are, and live that out.

4. Most things are not worth stressing over. I WISH I KNEW THIS! I would have saved myself sooo much stress, worry, and time! Sure, there are things that really are important and deserve your time and (possibly a little bit of) stress. But for the most part, there is so much that is really not worth the anxiety or tears. If I could go back, I'd tell myself to think about what I'm stressing over, and then think about if it will matter in 5 years. Or even in 2 years. Odds are, it won't matter then, so it shouldn't be the cause of so much grief now.

5. It is ok if you don't know what you want to do for the rest of your life. This is something that I hear a lot of people currently in high school (and even in college) talking about. Nowadays, there is so much pressure to "find your passion" in high school and pursue it in college. But the reality is that, while this may be the case for some, it is not the case for many. Making a decision about the rest of your life while you are in high school is a huge deal, and I think that it's important for people to know that it's ok if you don't know what your passion is right now! So many people in college haven't even figured out their passion yet! So don't listen to those who push you to "find your calling" right away, or who give you a hard time if you don't have it all figured out yet. Trust me, you'll have plenty of time for that later.

Do you have any advice you would love to tell your younger self? I'd love to hear it!

The Dangers of Wallowing in Self-Pity

Is it just me or do we sometimes like to feel sorry for ourselves? We are having a bad day or going through a rough time, and so we throw ourselves a Pity Party of one.

I have gone through some really tough times in my life, and I know how much easier it seems to just wallow in sadness and sorrow, feeling bad for myself but not really doing anything about it. But as my mom had told me during a particularly rough patch, “It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself for a little while, but you can’t stay there.”

And, like always, she was right. It is certainly okay to mope about for a bit, pitying yourself and your situation, but you can’t stay there. It is okay to cry your eyes out while listening to sad music in your room, thinking “why me?!”, but you can’t stay there. And it is okay to not feel like seeing or talking to anyone for a while, but again, you can’t stay there.  

Wallowing in self-pity is a very dangerous game that no one should ever attempt to play. It’s okay for a little while, but if you stay there in that sad, dark, lonely place for too long, it is very hard to get out.

So what can you do to avoid this dangerous game?

For starters, you can allow yourself a little bit of time to wallow if you need to. Like I said, it’s okay, and sometimes even helps you feel better, but only let yourself stay there for a limited amount of time. When you’re done, do something to take your mind off of your situation. Whether it be watching a funny movie, going out with friends, or eating a big bowl of ice cream, get out and do something fun!

Lastly, make sure that you have someone to talk to when you’re feeling particularly down. For me, my mom is my go-to person for everything. She always hears me out and gives me great, honest advice (and best of all, a nice tight hug when I need one). Whoever it is, just make sure that you have someone you trust to help pull you up out of the self-pity ditch when you’re struggling. We all have hard times, but we can’t let ourselves stay down for too long, and a good friend will always be there to help pick you back up.

What do you like to do to avoid getting stuck on the self-pity train?

Fill Your Days With LIFE!

Is it just me or do you ever wish that life would slow down sometimes? Between work, school, sports practices, music lessons, football games, etc., it sometimes feels like we have no time to actually enjoy life. 

I don't know about you, but I long for those days where I have absolutely nothing to do so I can just relax and enjoy life as I know it. And there is nothing wrong with having those days. But if that is what we live for, we are doing it wrong.

Life is not what happens outside of work, school, sports...Life is in the work, school, sports, etc. Those things that consume your days are all a part of life, and I think they should be treated as such. We shouldn't "just get through" our days--we should try and fill our days with as much LIFE as possible! 

Instead of living for the weekend, try living for each day as it passes, and enjoying it along the way! 

How will you enjoy life today?