PAY ATTENTION!

Is it just me or can you tell when someone is not really paying attention to you? You are trying to talk to someone and they are listening, but they are also texting, or constantly looking at their phone, or moving about doing something else? 

I know that I am certainly guilty of this, but recently, I have been really trying to be more mindful and attentive to people when we are talking. I know that it bothers me when I am trying to tell someone something and they are answering texts while giving me one-word responses, so why do I do it too?? It is obvious when someone is only half-listening, or when they are distracted by something else. And on top of that, it can be really annoying and frustrating sometimes. Yet I still do it. I still check my phone while having a conversation with someone. I still run around my room straightening up while a friend is sitting on my bed trying to talk to me. And I don't want to do that anymore.

People want attention. I want attention, you want attention...we all want to know that people care about what we are saying and respect us enough to listen while we speak. Think about how good it makes you feel when you just know that the other person you're talking with is genuinely involved in the conversation, and is interested in what you are saying. I know that it makes me feel really loved and cared for.

While I am not perfect, I have really been trying more and more to pay attention to people when they are speaking with me. I have been more mindful about not touching my phone, I have been trying to make better eye contact, and I have been trying to give genuine responses that show I am listening. I am sure that, just as people notice when you aren't paying attention to them, they also notice when you are. And that difference is huge.

I am taking a stand and really trying to pay more attention to people in my conversations with them. Let me know if you would like to stand with me.

The Dangers of Wallowing in Self-Pity

Is it just me or do we sometimes like to feel sorry for ourselves? We are having a bad day or going through a rough time, and so we throw ourselves a Pity Party of one.

I have gone through some really tough times in my life, and I know how much easier it seems to just wallow in sadness and sorrow, feeling bad for myself but not really doing anything about it. But as my mom had told me during a particularly rough patch, “It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself for a little while, but you can’t stay there.”

And, like always, she was right. It is certainly okay to mope about for a bit, pitying yourself and your situation, but you can’t stay there. It is okay to cry your eyes out while listening to sad music in your room, thinking “why me?!”, but you can’t stay there. And it is okay to not feel like seeing or talking to anyone for a while, but again, you can’t stay there.  

Wallowing in self-pity is a very dangerous game that no one should ever attempt to play. It’s okay for a little while, but if you stay there in that sad, dark, lonely place for too long, it is very hard to get out.

So what can you do to avoid this dangerous game?

For starters, you can allow yourself a little bit of time to wallow if you need to. Like I said, it’s okay, and sometimes even helps you feel better, but only let yourself stay there for a limited amount of time. When you’re done, do something to take your mind off of your situation. Whether it be watching a funny movie, going out with friends, or eating a big bowl of ice cream, get out and do something fun!

Lastly, make sure that you have someone to talk to when you’re feeling particularly down. For me, my mom is my go-to person for everything. She always hears me out and gives me great, honest advice (and best of all, a nice tight hug when I need one). Whoever it is, just make sure that you have someone you trust to help pull you up out of the self-pity ditch when you’re struggling. We all have hard times, but we can’t let ourselves stay down for too long, and a good friend will always be there to help pick you back up.

What do you like to do to avoid getting stuck on the self-pity train?