The Dangers of Wallowing in Self-Pity

Is it just me or do we sometimes like to feel sorry for ourselves? We are having a bad day or going through a rough time, and so we throw ourselves a Pity Party of one.

I have gone through some really tough times in my life, and I know how much easier it seems to just wallow in sadness and sorrow, feeling bad for myself but not really doing anything about it. But as my mom had told me during a particularly rough patch, “It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself for a little while, but you can’t stay there.”

And, like always, she was right. It is certainly okay to mope about for a bit, pitying yourself and your situation, but you can’t stay there. It is okay to cry your eyes out while listening to sad music in your room, thinking “why me?!”, but you can’t stay there. And it is okay to not feel like seeing or talking to anyone for a while, but again, you can’t stay there.  

Wallowing in self-pity is a very dangerous game that no one should ever attempt to play. It’s okay for a little while, but if you stay there in that sad, dark, lonely place for too long, it is very hard to get out.

So what can you do to avoid this dangerous game?

For starters, you can allow yourself a little bit of time to wallow if you need to. Like I said, it’s okay, and sometimes even helps you feel better, but only let yourself stay there for a limited amount of time. When you’re done, do something to take your mind off of your situation. Whether it be watching a funny movie, going out with friends, or eating a big bowl of ice cream, get out and do something fun!

Lastly, make sure that you have someone to talk to when you’re feeling particularly down. For me, my mom is my go-to person for everything. She always hears me out and gives me great, honest advice (and best of all, a nice tight hug when I need one). Whoever it is, just make sure that you have someone you trust to help pull you up out of the self-pity ditch when you’re struggling. We all have hard times, but we can’t let ourselves stay down for too long, and a good friend will always be there to help pick you back up.

What do you like to do to avoid getting stuck on the self-pity train?